The Road to Slim City

One girl's journey to finding herself, losing weight, getting healthy, and living life... one shenanigan at a time.
120 lbs down, 20 to go. Welcome to my world

Runaway Ninnie


I said I would post a story about my life crazies a week ago and I never did.  I had a really cute one written in a “Fairytale land” prose, but now the situation is getting worse and it just doesn’t seem that cute.  So here’s the grown-up, not so adorable, version:  

  It appears that my grandmother (we call her Ninnie) is in the early stages of developing Alzheimer’s and the way we found out she was having problems was less than amusing. 

I live in Kentucky.  My grandmother lives about 1/2 a mile from my house.  I go visit her almost every day.  Three-ish weeks ago, I went to see her on a Sunday morning, we had a nice visit.  On Monday, I stopped by her house to bring her some goodies and she wasn’t home.  Not unusual, figured she’d gone to the grocery.  On Tuesday late morning I get a call from the Florida State Police saying my grandmother was wandering around a 7-11 in Orlando and did not know who she was, where she was, how she got there, etc. 

sidebar:  When I was in elementary school, I lived in Orlando.  My grandmother especially loved it there.  I once heard her say she was the happiest she’d ever been in Florida.  But my grandmother, god love her, has always been a finicky lady.  She’s very rarely allows herself to be happy in the moment and mostly just talks about when she thought she was “back in the day.”  It’s kind of a sad story really… but that’s one for another time. 


My Ninnie has 5 children.  All of which are in their 50’s.  All of which are in good shape and health.  One of which is my mother.  The cops called all FIVE of them before they called me and not one of them would go to help.  In my mother’s extreme defense she was in Japan at the time so her involvement was impossible…. but the rest?  worthless. 

So I called off work, found a babysitter, bought a plane ticket, and a rental car, and spent 2 days in a Florida psychiatric hospital attempting to convince the medical staff that she wasn’t a neglected elderly person and that this really was her first episode (that we know of.)  Then, in true life fashion, had to drive back to Kentucky straight for a meeting at work on Thursday.  I was awake a total of 63 hours.  I do not recommend this to anyone… unless you enjoy hallucinating, then you should definitely do it. 


Since this happened 3 weeks ago, I’ve been a ball of nerves.  Most of the time, she’s fine or seems fine, but then there are those moments where I can tell she’s teetering on reality.  It’s scary and exhausting and confusing…. for both of us.  I don’t want to take her freedom away, but I also don’t want another dangerous stunt.  I don’t want to damage our relationship, but I have to be responsible as well.  It’s definitely a damned if I do, damned if I don’t situation.  

The main things we’ve accomplished right now are: car keys are taken, the situation scared her enough to where she’s ok with that, and we’re watching her like a hawk. 

Life, huh?  Never a dull moment. 


I am a person who loves to make BIG gigantic long term goals.  Not exactly a morale booster on a day to day basis.  Today…  things change.  It’s important to feel good about all the little weekly wins too. 



  • Take it all.

All the vitamins, supplements, and enzymes my Dr. suggested to start healing my tummy and to get my digestion and metabolism back where it needs to be?  Yep, starting. 


  • Eat more fermented foods

Fermenting creates beneficial enzymes, b-vitamins, Omega-3 fatty acids, and various strains of probiotics.  All good for you’s.  These foods includes sauerkraut, real soy sauce, miso, natto, kefir, yogurt, kombucha, and kimchi.  Today’s lunch:


  • Lots and Lots of Water

This a pretty typical goal, but for some reason it’s really difficult for me.  Let’s try 64 oz a day. 


  • Lose 2 lbs. 

This isn’t going to set any epic weight loss records, but at this point, I’m happy with slow and steady. 


Kids are at their dads, Chris is golfing with his friends, and there are new episodes of Greys on Hulu. 
 It’s looking like a happy Sunday.  

(Gluten free zucchini spaghetti, smoked salmon, cherry tomatoes, and baby Swiss  364 cals)

Kids are at their dads, Chris is golfing with his friends, and there are new episodes of Greys on Hulu.

It’s looking like a happy Sunday.

(Gluten free zucchini spaghetti, smoked salmon, cherry tomatoes, and baby Swiss 364 cals)

A Change in Perspective

I have been a terrible blogger. 

I have neglected my little haven here in the webiverse mainly because of my own disparaging thought processes and sheer sad hopelessness….


but not anymore.

Explanation you say? 

For the last year and a half my health has been less than good.  Pretty icky in fact actually.  I have had some pretty crazy, miserable, and random problems.  These have ranged from small baby nuisances to giant “holy shit REALLY?!?!’s”  Ready for a list?

•Headaches •fogginess •fatigue •weight gain •constipation (sorry), •stomach pain, •weird full body unexplainable itching •unsightly rashes on legs and arms •gallbladder attacks •unbelievable 6 months preggo-ish bloating •joint pain •anxiety •depression •vitamin deficiencies (severe for D and B’s) •random splurges of teenage-esque acne •more stomach pain •an intestinal blockage (resection)…. and to be quite honest the list could keep going. 

I’ve basically been a major cluster-fuck of awfulness. 


Consequently, I have also spent $1000’s and $1000’s of dollars on scans, labs, biopsies,  ___scopies, prescriptions, dr’s visits, hospital stays, homeopathic remedies, herbs, etc to get almost no ANSWERS to any of my problems.  You name it, I’ve been sent to do it and brought home the tshirt.  So on top of feeling like a hot steaming pile of dog poo, I got to add “broke-ass mo’ fo’” to my list of ailments.  


Somewhere along the line, my rule of “no whiny bitch ass blogging" kicked into full effect.  I just could not subject you guys to 458 posts about how "I’m at the dr again" or how "I can’t get out of bed because of debilitating stomach pain."  No matter how much you guys like me, no one wants to hear that shit.  No one.  it’s depressing.  


there is light at the end of the tunnel.


someone gave me an answer.  

I have Celiac Disease. 


I also have an uncooperative possibly failing gallbladder; caused by celiacs as well.  The disease may have damaged it to possibly an irreparable point, but my fingers are still crossed that I can avoid it being removed.  


I post all of this not only an explanation for my absence, but also in the hopes that I help anybody who could be suffering from the same symptoms….. NO ONE should ever have to go through this.  THIS.  THIS WAS INSANE!!!  

Getting this diagnosis was like trying to find the Holy Grail.  Seemingly impossible and utterly exhausting. 

Partially because our healthcare system is broken (no soapboxing), but MAINLY because the symptoms of this disease are so ridiculously BROAD!  So broad that 83% of people with celiac disease go undiagnosed or are misdiagnosed with other conditions.  83%!!!  That’s an unreal number. 

I received my diagnosis 2 weeks ago and while I’m in no way all the way better, an answer is a great starting point.  I mean….no one wants to hear they can never enjoy sourdough bread or a fantastic barley wee heavy beer again, but it sure as hell’s better than not knowing at all.   AND… studies have shown that within 4 weeks of being strictly gluten-free your body starts to heal itself and continues to do so for the next 5 years.  So that’s good news. 


As for this blog, since my world is taking a change it’s only natural that my blog will as well.  It will still, for the most part, be health and fitness, but I feel the need to share my celiac journey too.  The gluten-free food, the recipes, the failures, the products, the products that fail (because gluten-free labeling in the US is AT BEST shady) All of it.  Helping anyone suffering with this or a gluten intolerance seems like the right thing to do.  Not to mention it’s pretty much just healthier eating.

All in all I’m excited about potentially feeling a smidge better and about being back in the blogging saddle.  The world is suddenly looking up.  




I may or may not have decided to play hooky from the remainder of the work day.  I’ve just had enough of catty garbage and complaining.  

Wine and besties are better than numbers and snarky bitches any day.  


I may or may not have decided to play hooky from the remainder of the work day. I’ve just had enough of catty garbage and complaining.

Wine and besties are better than numbers and snarky bitches any day.


The Overshare: 21 Facts About Me

What’s this? Me thinks I have a little influx of followers today? Hola lovelies. Pleased to make your acquaintance.

1. My name is Melody and I’m 34 yrs old.

2. I am 5’9

3. I weigh 147 lbs.

4. I used to weigh 274 lbs

5. I will always be a person who struggles with weight and exercise and I’m ok with that. I’ve learned this isn’t a “found the gold at the end of the rainbow” situation, it’s a lifelong process.

6. Selfies make me feel awkward. I post a few so people remember what I look like, but I tend to shy away. Probably some deep-seeded issue with confidence. Sigh. Oh well. Add it to the list.

7. I was married once. He was a complete and total ass who told me I was unlovable because I was fat. I left him in the dust. End of Story.

8. I have 2 little girls Livia 12 and Emilie 10. Intelligent with sarcastic sharp tongues and butter soft hearts…. my favorite kinda people.

9. I am in a long-term cohabitating relationship with this guy. Chris is pretty much the most patient and generous person on the planet. We love him hardcore.

10. I have a bestie. We’ve been besties for 24 years. We are bound to each other forever by blood oaths, disgusting secrets and scary closet skeletons. She’s my soul mate.

11. I have a 6 year old birman cat who I like more than most everything. Her name is Khaleesi and she is the ruler of our home.

12. I live in Kentucky.… The founding home of Derby, Bourbon, Cheeseburgers, Corvettes, George Clooney, and Johnny Depp. Basically all good things.

13. I play ukulele and guitar and occasionally sing in a local rock band.

14. I can be instantly cheered up from almost any bad mood with Disney cartoons, baby elephant gifs, Amy Pond with the Doctor episodes and absolutely anything Harry Potter.

15. I have two tattoos.

When I was 17 I went to Daytona Beach on Spring Break and the last thing my mom said to me before I walked out the door was “Don’t come back with a tattoo.” don’t think I need to finish the story.

16. If I could afford it, I’d eat seafood every day for the rest of days. Forever. and ever. ever.

17. I am ALMOST un-offendable. I figure life is too short to be pissed all the time. If I took all the stupid things people said to heart, I’d just want to punch people in the face 100% of the time. That’s no fun. Exception: bad, slow, or self-entitled drivers. Wooooo that shit burns me up.

18. I don’t like cake or peanut butter or ice cream.

Please don’t kick me out of the Tumblr club. There are exceptions to this statement, but extremely few.

19. I despise cold weather. The hotter it is outside the happier I am.

20. I have almost died 3 times.

my body likes to keep things exciting.

21. I am obsessed with the beach, but have a severe phobia of shark attacks (traumatic childhood experience) so I don’t get in the water.

*eep panic*

Me in a tiny, neurotic, but mostly loveable nutshell. Glad you stopped by and can’t wait to see more of you :)

Love, peace, and dear lord hurry up and finish typing cuz that gif is freaking me the fuck out….

♥ Mel @theroadtoslimcity

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