Last year I bought a beautiful Endless Summer hydrangea bush. I took great care to plant it in a optimal location where all it’s needs could be met. I babied it and fed it all spring getting excited every time it would grow a new leaf or witness a new sprout. It was glorious.

Then one day, I noticed a rabbit had moved into my garden. I really wasn’t concerned. I always make sure there’s enough to share as it’s easier to work with our ecosystem than fight it. (Story for another day).

What I blindly didn’t consider was how my dogs would feel about the squatter’s new abode. Days later, in “hot pursuit,” my dogs took that beautifully nurtured 2 ft hydrangea bush fully OUT. And no, they didn’t get the rabbit. 😂

After the anger and heartbreak subsided, came rational thinking. I was sure it was a goner as it broke at the base just under ground level. I pulled it up, stuck it in a pot, and reworked the bed with different plants…. can’t waste space with a ½ acre. The pot was put on the deck, shoved into a corner and forgotten for the remainder of 2020.

………..

This spring I have watched that tiny little nubbin of a bare broken stick, blossom into glory once again. And every day when I walk outside, she inspires me.

At times, I have felt like this plant. Maybe you have too. Ripped apart, broken beyond repair, given up on, ran over? Those are horrible feelings to endure.

But when I see her now, I am reminded that we can learn many lessons from good ole Mother Nature. Maybe a little new soil, some time to heal, and a few rays of sunshine could turn it all around? Maybe all we need is a place to recuperate and grow on our own terms? Maybe when we think all is lost, it’s really not. Maybe we’re all like this hydrangea… one season away from beautifully blooming once again.❤️

I’ve been amazingly on point with all aspects of my health this entire week.  

• workout everyday - check
• macros and nutrition - nailed it
• supplements, vitamins, collagen - remembered

Today’s scale:

Whether we like it or not, change is an inevitable part of life.  Some changes swoop in like a breath of fresh air, whilst others bring a life weight so unfathomable, we aren’t sure we’ll survive…. 

But we do survive.  and the glorious part of that near death experience is that it’s almost always accompanied by a clearer view of the past and a new perspective on where you’d like to go next. 

My life has felt like a whirlwind of change. 

Between the health stuff, which kept me grounded and unable to exercise, the life stuff, which, sadly, kept my brain in a constant state of panic and my own inability to keep the two from fusing into a cataclysmic display of heart break, I have failed at so many things.  But in the true fashion of change, I’ve also gained a world of knowledge and learned life lessons that I will never forget.  

Fail 1:  I have gained 33 lbs. 

When I used to think about the possibility of getting sick one day or when I was watching TV and the cancer commercials came on, I always envisioned this emaciated version of myself, unable to eat, unable to keep food down, etc.  The reality is a little different.   Yes, I was sick and yes the nausea was the real deal, but when I wasn’t nauseous, the meds made a lot of foods taste strange.  They made some food taste spoiled, which really sucked.  But the main thing no one tells you is that they make you crave sugar… and not just your typical “man, a snickers would be great right now” kinda craving… these cravings felt detrimental to life itself.  There were days where ice-cream was the only thing I could eat… and for those of you who’ve checked out my bio, you’ll know I actually hate ice-cream normally.  Anyway, I went from 145 to 178 in the blink of an eye.  I’m hoping some is swelling and water from essentially being poisoned for months, but I’m not counting on it.  The positive outlook of this change, is “hey! at least you’re not back at 278?"  exactly self.  exactly.  It will come back off.  All is well. 

Fail 2:  The blogs is not updated.   

As I scrolled through my blog the other day getting reacquainted, I realized I have seriously neglected everything.  I mean, my bio says I have 2 girls, 10 and 12 years old. 

Umm… try 16 and 14. 

P.S.  I’m going to need one of you brilliant Tumblies to invent something that stops this from happening any further.  How the fuck did they get this old?  How the fuck did IIII get this old? and why do they look 26?!?   10am isn’t too early for bourbon, right?  I mean… this is Kentucky. 

Anyway, will update everything ASAP. 

Gain #1:  Life is too damn short. 

This is the cliche thing all recovering people say, but it’s 100% true.  I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how true this is.  My life’s journey has given me a perspective that I’ll never forget.  All that shit that you worry about day in and day out…. all the stress… all the extra stuff you pile on yourself …. it’s all imaginary.  In the end, none of it matters.  The only things that matter are how well you lived your life, how you made a positive impact on this world, and how your example made the others around you want to live better.  Life is an asshole.  It presents itself as this big scary complicated maze of decisions that make you fear you’ll never get through…. The best advice I will ever give anyone is just to stop worrying.  Stop wasting energy on things that don’t matter.  Be kind.  Be Brave.  Choose happiness and go EVERYWHERE.  I took a bulldozer to my life’s responsibilities and my mind’s pretend obligations and restrictions and I’ve never felt better. 

Gain #2:  my health and life. 

I am unbelievably humbled and grateful to be given this life and to be on my way to being well.  I solemnly promise to never squander any opportunity I am offered and to never take anyone or any blessing for granted. 

CHEERS.

I’ve always loved a good comeback. 

It’s been a rough go lately, but I’ve survived.  Details may or may not unravel in time, but a huge synopsis of the last 2 years seemed pretty boring.  Instead, we start fresh.  New adventures.  New journeys.  New outlooks. 

At any time the broken pieces of yesterday can be swept away and today can be made the beginning…. at any stage, at any age, at any place. 

because, as the great Rafiki once wisely spoke…

All that matters in this moment is I am thankful to be here.  Good to see ya again Tumblr.  

It has rained every day here for what seems like forever. We’ve had almost no gorgeous sunny days and no joke, it has really taken a huge toll on my happy levels. Summer is my absolute favorite. My mantra is “The hotter the better” and this summer has been a bust. I’ve gotten to partake in almost none of my normal sunny day activities. No swimming, or boating, or hiking, nothing. Boo.

So yesterday, when we were finally granted a “rain reprieve” in the forecast, and the sun was shining and the blue skies were bluing, I was STOKED. I was so excited for a pop of positivity and a good ole-fashioned surge of vitamin D, that I decided to go for my run in the sun.

And it was awesome!!! …. Until about 3 miles in.

And then it was really really not awesome.

At about the 2.5 mile mark I realized what I’d done and turned around, but at that point it was too late. I had to get home and the only way to do it was another 2.5 miles. I’m not sure what made me forget that running in that level of heat (95) was not ok, but my bliss had clearly overridden my common sense. “No Bueno Melodia.”

At the end of 5 miles (last mile slowly walked)
-my hands were swollen to the size of sausages
-my breathing was struggled and my heart rate felt impossibly high.
-I was drenched with sweat and muscles felt weak
-I was woozy and faint and
-and my head was pounding.

I was definitely in the full thralls of heat exhaustion, which I’m sure I don’t have to tell you, is a dangerous place to be.
I thankfully recovered within an hour, but I 100% knew better and I foolishly put myself at a very serious risk of heat stroke.

Let my idiotic mistake be a PSA to all. No matter how pretty it is outside, during high summer temps run early or late when the heat has subsided.

Sadly, the persistent rain is back today and with it milder temperatures. Regardless of the change, I’ve learned my lesson and will be waiting until this evening for my normal run. After yesterday’s scary fiasco, my new mantra is “better safe than sorry.”